Keep Myself Awake- Mistakes
He picked up her limp body calling her name over and over but she did not answer. She was still breathing, her heart still beating strongly, but she did not respond to him. He tore his wrist open and forced his blood into her mouth, she swallowed reflexively and for a moment he thought it was working and she was waking up, but she wasn’t. He could no longer feel her in the tie they shared. When he saw that the blood brought no change he took out his phone and called Ludwig.
“Meet me at Fangtasia in fifteen minutes.”
“GOING TO MEET ME THERE OR YOU WILL ANSWER WITH YOUR FUCKING HEAD!” he crushed the phone in his hand trying to end the call.
You have to stop this, he told himself. You have to control your emotion of you will crush her as you did the phone.
Dropping the shattered plastic on the ground be picked Sookie up bridal style and took off for Fangtasia, his thoughts a riot as they had been since he had come back to himself buried to the hilt inside her, with her screaming her release in his arms last night. Nothing had made sense from that moment.
Well, some things made perfect sense for the first time.
When he had met her, wanted her, he thought it was about jerking Compton’s chain.
When he staked Long Shadow to save her he thought it was about the obligation to keep her safe since she was there working for him.
When he had followed her to Dallas and patched her wounds he had thought it was because she was representing him, and again he owed her support and loyalty. When he had taken a bullet for her, and she had sucked it out he had told himself that what he felt was the kind of camaraderie that two battle worn warriors felt.
His first clue that he had been lying to himself had been in her house when she had made him swear to kill Lorena, and he had assumed a simple woman’s jilted heart. He should have known better, he would have known better if he had been telling himself the truth all along, but because he had lied, he never saw it coming.
The final blow, the moment his whole world slid off the rails was when she looked him in the eye and said as fierce as any warrior he had ever known, “I want her dead because she betrayed him!”
His response to her passionate declaration had echoed to the warrior, the man and the vampire before her, and for the first time in a thousand years they were in complete consensus.
I want that for myself. All of it. The loyalty, the passion, the warmth. I want that. I want to feel that. I want to feel her.
Since that moment he had tried to figure out how to get from here to there and was at a loss. Women pursued him, and he took the ones he chose from the herds that were always more than willing. It had been that way before the Great Revelation, it had only become more so after. They came in masses and waited at his feet. That was easy, so easy that it was meaningless.
This woman though, she did not offer herself, not even when he allowed himself to be reduced to pleading for her to yield to him. The night of the orgy on the hood of his Corvette he was putty in her hands, but her mind was focused on processing the vacuous scene playing out in the cabin behind them. Her heart was still tied to Compton, and while her body responded to his expert touch, and her words were rambling and off topic, he had felt her legs tighten around him, pulling him deeper between her legs. He had been able to smell her arousal from his touch and it pushed his limits to not just take her, but even back then part of him had known that taking her would not get him what he wanted.
He had been relieved when Compton had interrupted them. It gave him an excuse to back off and ignore the feeling that was digging at the edge of his defenses and not lose face.
Last night he had come back to himself and found that he was right where he wanted to be for a very long time, feeling her. Feeling her feeling him in their tiny blood tie and knew that he had somehow in getting lost found his way to her, and bridged the distance from here to there.
I won’t lose that now!
He touched down in the parking lot and went right to his office, Ludwig was waiting. She opened her mouth to speak and then taking one look at the woman in his arms and the grim look on his ancient face, she closed her mouth again, and moved back so he could put her on the sofa. Beginning to take her vitals she asked him to tell her what happened.
“She has been spelled.”
“I need more than that if you want me to help her.”
“That is all there is, I have killed the witch.” She sighed and took in his blood spattered form.
“I can only heal the body, vampire. If this is magic you need a witch, not a doctor.” She went on examining Sookie and heard him move to his desk and make a call. Coming back to her side, he demanded an update. “Her vitals are strong, and she appears to be sleeping. I assume you tried to wake her?” He nodded. “And that you tried to give her your blood?”
“Of course,” he ground out, trying hard not to hit her.
“And?” she yelled at him, growing frustrated that she couldn’t help and taking it out on the one person she could.
“She drank it, but it had no effect.”
“She drank it on her own?” the doctor stopped and looked at him.
“Yes, is that significant?”
“I can’t say for sure, but it definitely lends credence to magic over medical. If she were comatose it is not likely she would have responded at all. Have you tried to talk to her?” He shook his head sharply. The doctor started packing up her things. “There is nothing more for me to do here right now. I will leave you to wait for the witch. Use that time to try and talk to her. See if you can get her to respond. If she can tell you anything about what happened it will only help the witch in trying to fix whatever had happened.”
She turned to go, and then taking in the scene before her, the damaged girl and the frightened angry vampire, she curtailed her usual attitude and simply said, “Call me if there is anything medically that she needs.” When he did not respond she left.
When the door closed he fell to his knees beside the sofa and looked at her. His emotions were running rampant and he found himself feeling things that he had not experienced in a very long time.
It tasted like tainted blood in his mouth and he did not like it. He reached for her hand, remembering how she had done that when she kneeled beside him last night. “I have failed you,” he said barely above a whisper. “I should have gone after the witch as soon as I rose, but I could not stay away from your side.” He stopped, struggling with how to reveal the truth of himself. “When I woke up and you were gone, it was like a silver spike had been placed in my chest…in my…heart! Why didn’t you just stay, Sookie? Why?” He felt a slight squeeze from her hand then and she mumbled a response.
“You…didn’t…want…me.” It was so soft that he might have missed it entirely if he had not had every supernatural sense he possessed solely focused on her tiny form. Holding her hand tighter and leaning closer he tried to reach her again.
“You are wrong, little one. I did want you!” His other hand was brushing her hair back from her forehead now as he waited to see if she would respond again.
“Ssssspell,” she whispered. Did she mean last night or tonight?
“What about the spell, Sookie. Talk to me! What do you mean.”
“Only…happened…because…of…the…spell.” She meant last night. He had choice to make.
He could use this precious time to correct her misunderstanding regarding his desire for her, or he could try and gain information about the spell she was currently under. Quickly, he weighed his options and decided that getting her back was more important, he could explain later and make her see that what had happened had been meant to happen. That she had been right when she told him that the witch’s spell might have been the catalyst, but that they were the reaction to everything that had always been between them.
It had nothing to do with the magic that simply gave them the chance to do what they wanted to do all along. He would make her see. First, he had to get her back.
“Sookie, tell me about what happened tonight. Tell me what happened tonight.” She moved then, turning her head a little away from him, and he could almost feel her slipping further away. “Sookie!” he called to her, shaking her gently to try and keep her with him.
“IT DOES FUCKING MATTER! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET YOU BACK IF YOU WON’T TELL ME HOW TO HELP?” he was screaming at her now, but she was no longer answering him. His head fell to hear chest as he hoped and strained to hear her again, but there was nothing else to hear.
By the time the witch Olivia arrived he had composed his exterior, though he was still a seething unstable volcano inside. “Tell me what happened.” He filled her on what little there was as she examined Sookie and then turned to him. “This could any number of things, before we can determine the best course we need to try and find her grimoire. Spells are often very specific and to try and reverse it without knowing exactly what was done can be dangerous.”
“It could kill her.” He growled then.
“If anything happens to her I will hold you personally responsible.” She paled at his threat. She had worked for Northman before and she knew that while he was fair in his business dealings, he was also ruthless when it came to getting what he wanted. He would kill her, of that she had no doubt.
“I-is that the witches blood on your shirt?”
“What of it?”
“I might…there might be a way to use that to find her altar.” She was hesitant because it was a long shot. Blood calls to blood and there was the tiniest possibility that she had spilled her own blood in her sacred space while performing magics. Perhaps, they could find it with a locator spell. She explained to him and before she was done he had removed his shirt and handed it to her.
She took a breath, seeing him bare chested was like a spell unto itself. He truly was a beautiful man. Sensing her attraction in her pulse increasing, the blood rushing to the surface of her skin, and her quickened breathing he decided that it could be to his advantage to try and play to that. He desperately needed her help, and if she thought he would be willing to reciprocate in a more personal fashion, she might work that much harder to help him get back his hearts’ desire.
She was not unattractive, lean body, wide hips, beautiful green eyes, it would be no hardship to fuck her once, if that is what she required to do as he asked. “You know that if you fail, or bring additional harm to this woman, my wrath will be sure and swift. However,” he softened his tone and took a step toward her, toying with a tress of her long auburn hair, “if you are able to remove this spell, the rewards could be many and quite…pleasurable.” She licked her lips, struggling to find her voice in the face of this gorgeous dead man before her.
“I will do everything I can,” she assured him, looking into his eyes.
“See that you do,” he said in lowest, sexiest voice, leading her on to motivate her. She shook herself and began to move to the door, determined to find a way to break this spell, so that she could make good on his offer. She had wanted him for a very long time. This was likely to be the best chance she would get.
When the door closed, Sookie let out a soft moan on the sofa. He was immediately at her side, her hand in his.
She did not respond and he wondered if she had heard him offer his body to the witch and misunderstood his motivation. He would do anything to save her. She had to understand that.
Despite his desperation and devotion to the woman lying before him, he couldn’t help but feel that he might have made a mistake. Mistakes were all he seemed to make when it came to Sookie. I should be used to that by now, he thought bitterly as he remained kneeling before her, as so many had knelt before him in nights and ages past, understanding for the first time what they must have felt when he turned from them, or even worse, failed to notice them at all.