Slow Your Roll

 

 Keep Myself Awake- Slow Your Roll

 

Pam found him there, still kneeling beside her when she burst in a short while later.

 

“What’s happened now?”  She asked, already at her limit from the night before.   When Eric had disappeared from the office she had been in a full blown panic until Sookie had called her. Then later last night she had felt something happen to Eric but had not been able to find or reach him, and when she rose this evening she was half way to Bon Temps when she felt him moving back toward Shreveport.  She had sent Chow on to Bon Temps and she had turned back, following Eric in their bond as he emotions played ping pong inside her.

 

“Are you back now?  Sookie said you didn’t remember what had happened.”  He was still kneeling when he spoke without looking at her.

 

“My memory has been restored, and the witch is dead.”

 

“And Sookie?” her tone showing her concern.

 

“The witch cast a spell on her before I killed her.”

 

“We have to call Olivia and see what she-”

 

“She has been here already.  She is working on it.”

 

“What happened after you disappeared?” she asked him softly.  Before he could answer her phone rang.  Seeing it was Chow she answered.  “Yes?”  She listened a moment and then said, “Dispose of the body in the cemetery that is nearby and remove any evidence that remains, then return to Fangtasia.”  She looked back at him now, “Eric?” she prompted.

 

Still not looking at her he asked the one question she never thought to hear from him.  “What does it  feel like to be in love, Pam?”

 

“As I recall it’s like hot razor wire going over your skin, and you want it to stop and you know if it does you will die from missing it.”  He growled softly.  When he did not speak she went on, “Abby says that you should tell those that you love how you feel and not wait.  I’m not sure if that is because the pain will be reduced or because in telling them how you feel you will be inflicting the same onto them.  It’s all very confusing.”  He growled again, this time in agreement and she felt that she had given him whatever it was he was looking for.

 

“Master, what about the rest of the coven?  Are we to hunt them?”

 

“Let’s wait until we hear from Olivia.  She may be able to tell us where they are hiding.”  He stood then and picked up the telepath that she thought of as a friend, mostly.

 

“Is there anything I can do for her, or you?” she asked as he headed for the door.  He left without answering and she knew then that things were very seriously wrong.

 

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He took her to his home, landing in the back yard of his the gated community residence.  He had several but this was the one he had planned to stay in last night before the witch had taken his mind.  Before Sookie had finished the job by taking his soul.  He carried her upstairs and laid her on his bed climbing in beside her.

 

“Sookie?” he tried again to reach her, whispering to her softly and taking her hand.  “Sookie, please come back to me.”  She did not answer, but he had not been expecting her to.  He had made a mistake propositioning the witch where she could hear.  He believed that action had finished convincing her that what had happened between them had only been the result of the spell.  If she would just come back to him, he could tell her that he had only trying to ensure that the witch would work as hard as she could.  Once he could explain it he was sure she would understand.  She had to!

 

He rolled away from her and placed an arm under his head, trying to figure out what his next move would be.  He needed to hunt Hallow’s coven and see if they could help him break the spell before he killed them slowly and in the most painful ways he could imagine for fucking up his life.  He had been barely holding on by a thread anyway due to the woman beside him, but the witches had gleefully cut that thread and showed him that was in love with her.

 

After hearing Pam’s description he could no longer doubt that is what he felt.  Every second since he had gotten his memories back had been like the razor wire she described.  Leaving Sookie in his bed he went downstairs and got a blood from the fridge, heating it in the microwave before going out on his back deck to stare at the stars.

 

I didn’t ask for this!  He thought angrily as he looked up, not sure if he was talking to Odin or himself, and then realizing he was talking to anyone who could fix it.  Please fix it! He sent to the heavens and anyone who was listening, to anyone at all who might be out there.

 

He didn’t know, but someone was out there.  They had followed him from Bon Temps to Fangtasia and then to his home, concealing themselves and their scent from him.

 

Sookie’s fairy godmother stood in the yard and watched the Viking stare at the stars while he drank his blood slowly, and she wondered what he was thinking. He had seemed very upset when Sookie collapsed and seemed even more so now.

 

Perhaps he cared for Sookie?  No, it couldn’t be, Claudine shook her head and smiled at her own foolishness.  Vampires only cared for eating fairies.  No doubt he was saving her for a snack.  Claudine had to get her away from the vampire!

 

Now that she knew where he lived, she only had to wait for daylight to steal her away.

 

Hang on, Sookie.  I’m going to save you, she thought as she watched the Viking move back into the house and lock the door behind him.

 

Daylight was only an hour away.  She would remain hidden and wait.

 

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Depressed and unsure what to do Eric surrendered to death before dawn even came.  In his advanced age he could stay up for a while past sunrise and rise before sunset, but all the strength had been drained out of him this night.  He wanted the peace that only death would bring. This time, as he climbed into bed beside Sookie, he didn’t hesitate to pull her to him.  There was no need to worry of trapping her, she was not going to move today any more than she had tonight.

 

He molded his body to hers, spooning her from behind, letting her head fit under his chin so that the smell of sunshine that she always had in her hair filled his nostrils.  The razor wire ache eased when she was tucked against, and he let out a sigh of contentment as he snuggled next to her there.

 

He had already died and missed that she did the same.

 

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Eric dreamed.

 

He was back at Sookie’s house and she was washing his feet.  He felt again the gratefulness that he had felt that night as she cared for, him but now that he knew who they both were and how he felt about the woman kneeling before him it added a deeper resonance to his emotions.  The razor wire feeling that he was becoming accustomed to was back full force, and he wanted to reach out to her and pull her to his arms and his lips, but he stopped himself and let the scene play out like it before.

 

She looked so tired, and he realized now what he did not know then.  She had worked until she picked him up beside the road and he felt even more touched by her gestures of care that she pushed aside her exhaustion to give a lonely frightened vampire.  He growled softly in his chest, causing her to look up at him.

 

“Something wrong?” she asked.

 

This hadn’t happened before.

 

“Everything is wrong,” he told her.  She sighed.

 

“Tell me about it.”

 

“I have killed the witch.  You are asleep and won’t wake up.  Pam said that-”

 

“Stop!  I didn’t mean that literally.   I meant it sarcastically.  You aren’t the only one with issues, big boy.”

 

“Big…boy?” he asked her, not sure he understood her meaning.

 

“Never mind,” she said sighing again, rising now to empty the pan of water into the kitchen sink.

 

Trying another strategy, he asked her, “What are your issues, Sookie?”  She laughed humorlessly, rinsing the pan before drying it and placing it back under the sink where she had found it.

 

“I assume you mean besides the very large, nearly naked, confused vampire I have sitting in my kitchen at two in the morning?”

 

“Is that more sarcasm?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Would you like me to remove the rest of my clothes?  Would that be helpful?” he asked sincerely, trying to find some way to please her and show how much he appreciated her.  None of this had happened before, so while he was certain that he must be dreaming he didn’t want the dream to end.  He felt close to her here and there was no place else he would rather be than close to her.

 

“Whoa!  Slow your roll there, Eric.”

 

“Slow my…does that mean no, Sookie?”

 

“Yes!” she said emphatically.  He was even more confused now than he was before.  Apparently she saw that in his face because she added, “Yes, keep your clothes on, please.  Ok?”

 

“Ok,” he said, still seated with the blanket around his shoulders.  He didn’t understand though.

 

“Why do you want me to keep my clothes on, Sookie?”

 

“Because that seems to be your damned answer for everything.  I heard you with that damned witch, Eric Northman!  I know you promised to sleep with her!  You could have at least had the decency to do your business in another room!”

 

His eyes grew wide.  She HAD heard him and she WAS angry.  Then it hit him a second later that she WAS here, really here, and this was possibly NOT a dream.  He was about to go to her and explain when suddenly there as a knock at her front door.

 

“Oh, what the hell is it now?” she ranted, as she walked out of the kitchen toward the summoning knock.  Recovering slowly from her anger and his realization that he could truly talk to her now, he left the kitchen to follow her to the door.  He saw her jerk it open and then there was a blinding flash of light, he had to raise his hand to shield his eyes it was so bright and when he took it down she was gone.

 

He sped to the door, calling her name, out onto the porch and into the dark, but she was not there.  He had lost her again.

 

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When the day released him he eagerly opened his eyes and tried to pull her close to him, he would try and to talk to her again!  But his arms pulled back nothing but air.

 

She was not there.  He had lost her again.