Love Is All
- Is there love?
As I knelt over Eric and shoved my wrist into his mouth to help him heal from the sun I had one question running through my mind over and over.
What’s happening to me?
My mind was a movie screen replaying the fight with Debbie that had nearly destroyed my house, how I had fucked like Bill like an animal in that wreckage and now here. Russell and Eric bleeding me, Eric with that look his face. This fucker had to live! He had to explain that look to me when he touched my face. I had to know what that meant and nothing was going to stop me from finding out!
Pam was removing the cuff, Bill was standing behind me huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf, and Godric had followed us inside. I glanced over, yep, the ghost of Godric was still there, but so far no one was mentioning it.
What’s happening to me?
Was I cracking up? Was I changing into a vampire? I felt like I had imagined they must feel. Filled with uncontrollable fury and the need to move and do something, even if I wasn’t sure what exactly. Was this what it was like? Maybe I could ask Eric when he was done. That and thousand other things.
Why did you kiss me like you did?
Why did you chain me in the basement?
Why did you touch my face and look at me with such pain and regret in your eyes?
Why was Godric talking to me?
“Sookie! Look out, Bill!” I moved instinctively covering Eric with my body as I looked over and saw Bill raising a stake. He paused a moment in his downward momentum and that was all I needed to decide. I decided to save him. I felt my body light up and surge as it had outside when I blasted Eric and Russell apart. When I opened my eyes were out in broad daylight.
I covered Eric again and closed my eyes hoping that whatever happened could happen again so that I could get him out of the sun. I tried really hard, grunting as I lay over his large body, willing it to work again, to take us someplace safe!
Nothing happened. Cursing like a sailor I opened my eyes and looked down to see his stunned expression. He released my wrist and licked his lips, his blue eyes found mine, the wonder and fear evident and plain. I felt something clench in the middle of me and I moved to cover him with my arms now as well as my legs and the rest of me.
I felt his arms come up around me and settle on my lower back as he turned his head to take in his surroundings. The first thing I noticed was that his black leather was gone and he was now wearing something loose, flowing and white, like what Godric had been wearing.
I looked around but didn’t see him. I glanced down at me and gone were the Daisy Dukes and football tee, replaced with the dress I had been wearing in my dream when I had awakened in Fangtasia. I looked like what I was, a fucking fairy.
“Oh, fuck. I think I killed us!” I mumbled, looking around at what was presumably Heaven, despite my cursing. He moved beneath me, rubbing his body against mine suggestively, letting me feel what it was doing to him to have me splayed out across him.
“I have never believed in an afterlife, but if this it, I’m not complaining.” I rolled my eyes and then it hit me that even in Heaven or in Hell Eric Northman would still be trying to get into my pants. For some reason I found this funny. I started giggling then, and it soon turned into belly whooping howls of laughter. Hysteria, I thought. All of it crashing in on me. Debbie and how good it felt to beat her stupid wolf ass, all the vampire blood running through me.
There was hardly any Sookie left at all.
“That’s not true,” Godric said from behind me, making me jump out of my skin and setting me off into fresh fits of uncontrollable laughter. Right, I was in the daylight with a vampire who was not burning for anything but me, judging from the arousal pressed to my belly and talking to the ghost of his Maker. Not to mention that I had just teleported us to some unknown location.
There is hardly any Sookie left at all, I thought again and surrendered to the bubbles of effervescent insanity that were coming to the surface as though I were a champagne glass and not girl at all. Not a girl, a woman my PC internal moderator reminded me.
Fuck off, I told her and kept on laughing, my eyes closed in mirth and avoidance. I couldn’t take another single solitary fucking thing right now.
It was that feeling of being loose and free falling that made me do it. I stopped laughing as suddenly as I had started and kissed Eric. I kissed him like he had kissed me in his office when he thought he was dying. I kissed him like was the only thing that could stop me from floating away. I kissed him with the same savagery that had made me mount Bill and use him to find release as he has used me in the back of that truck.
It was need. Pure raw need, and it cut me right through the bone.
It was wrong, and I knew it, I just didn’t care. I moved against Eric, straddling him, putting him right where I needed him in that moment. He growled beneath me and I felt his hands tangle in my hair again, which seemed to be down now as well. I had never felt anything like it when he took possession of my body and control of this kiss that was fast becoming a freight train to happy land.
I was about to ride this wild pony. I flexed my thighs around his hips and pressed down as he pressed up. There was a growl that may have come from me as the feeling deep inside rose up and up. I was bubble on that champagne glass and I was moving right to the top, to pop.
Eric rolled us over and deepened the kiss, flexing his hips into me, hitting just the right spot. I moaned his name and opened my eyes to see his. Was he really here with me? Was this really happening? Was Godric really standing beside us about to watch is hit that swerve that would wreck even Eric’s sleek Corvette?
Seeing him dulled the need for me. My head fell back to the ground, my legs letting Eric go. He sensed my withdrawal from our passion and pulled his head back with a drugged look in his eyes.
Was I a drug to Eric Northman? Did he want to take me into his veins and ride the high?
“Sookie?” he said, slurring his words slightly sounding high on me. I felt it when he said my name, and I knew I could get high on him, too. I wanted to, but not with an audience.
“Godric,” I said, touching his face where the scars from the sun were still fading. He glanced around and then tensed, but left his body over mine as I had with him, protectively, possessively. It made me want him even more. After a moment he stood at vampire speed and extended a large graceful hand back to help me. He pulled me into his arms, continuing to shelter me with his body as he looked around.
“I don’t see him,” he said into my hair, his arm pulling me tighter. I sighed looking at Godric standing right beside us.
“I’m probably losing mind in addition to killing us then, ‘cause he is standing right there,” I said gesturing to him. Godric was smiling, so I took that as a good sign.
“I saw him before, when I was in the sun dying.”
“What did he say?”
“Nothing,” Eric said at the same time Godric spoke.
“I told him love is all.”
“’Love is all’, is nothing, huh?” I asked Eric looking up at him. His face registered enough surprise that I felt some small relief that maybe I was not cracking up just yet.
“He is here,” Eric said, looking around again. I looked past Godric and took in where we were. Should have done that before you tried to take the Viking for a spin, Stackhouse. Oh, good the internal PC moderator was still here, too.
The more the merrier I thought, smiling my crazy Sookie smile, cause now it could be true.
“Don’t hide from me,” Eric said, looking at me with an expression I didn’t understand.
“What do you mean?” my smile grew wider.
“I know that smile, you hide behind it. I don’t want you to hide from me ever again.” Score one for the vampire. Guess a thousand years meant his was good at poker.
“I wanted to not hide from you and you chained me in your fucking basement and fed me to Russell like a snausage.” Not the time or the place, but whatever. Was there ever a good time to call bullshit? I was ramping up to holler like a good redneck could when I felt him wince in my arms. I felt him wince. I looked at him sharply, my mouth closing. What the ever loving hell was this? Regret? “You regret it?”
“Yes,” he said not looking me in the eye.
“Now you’re hiding from me. Don’t ask me for things that you can’t give in return.” He winced again!
“Sookie, I had a plan. I needed you to not know so your pain would make it convincing.”
“Congratulations. It worked. It hurt like a motherfucker to see you walking away from while I begged you to come back.” His eyes flew up to mine and in them I could have sworn I saw blood tears. His arms pulled me tighter, as if he thought what he was going to say next would push me away.
“There was no other way I could beat Russell. He’s older and stronger. I thought if I let him think he had won he would drop his guard.”
“And kill yourself in the process?” He shrugged, like that didn’t matter. It mattered.
“I didn’t expect you to save me.”
“Right, cause you never saved me, or helped me, or anything?” I was mad now, crazy mad and ready to start swinging. When he shrugged again, dismissing my words I exploded out of his arms. His comforting safe arms. That made me madder. I wanted to be back in them but I also wanted to slap his face.
“’You hate my fucking guts,’” he said quietly, his large shoulder bowing in defeat.
“’And I mean nothing to you,’” I volleyed back. His eyes shut and a single blood tear ran down his cheek.
“You mean everything to me,” he said his blue eyes opening to me, truth spilling out of them. “That is why I had to say that. If they knew what you were to me, they would have killed you right there, or waited and used you for leverage.”
“Leverage?” my hands going to my hips, the impression that I was missing something settling in on me.
“They already had Pam, and I couldn’t let them have you, too. I couldn’t protect her so I did the best I could for you. I made sure you were not a target.”
“Who had Pam?” He sighed, running a hand through his hair, which was still fucking perfect despite his near demise. How was that even possible?
“The Magister, he is, was the law enforcer for my kind.”
“Russell killed him, took his head right off because he could.” I blinked.
“Jesus, why don’t you and Bill ever tell me anything?!”
“Why don’t you ever tell me the half-baked ideas that send you off into the heart of danger?!” He was yelling now, like he cared. Did he care? Did I matter, too?
“I trust you as much as you trust me.” I raised my chin now, daring him to argue that. Instead he smiled a crooked smile at me.
“Touché, Miss Stackhouse.” His smile was killing me. I turned to Godric.
“Where the hell are we?”
“Fae,” Godric answered and I took another look around at the hazy golden light. Bill’s words came back to me from when he had told me what I was. So this is where my blood had taken him as he rested?
“And how did we get here?”
“You teleported us to this location.” Godric smiled at me now, that same infuriating smile that Eric had just given me. Like Maker like Child, I thought.
“So, since no place is safe, what the hell do we need to worry about here? Looks like the sun is not a problem?”
“No, the sun is not a problem, but the race who lives here is not one to trifle with,” he said, his look growing serious making the knot in my stomach that never seemed to go away tighten and grow.
“They welcomed Bill and told him what I was.”
“No, they ran from Bill and he already knew what you were when he met you.” At first I didn’t hear him, and then I did and my legs felt weak. Bill had known all along? Then why tell me now?
“D- Did Eric know, too?”
“He only found out in the last few days.” The knot loosened a little.
“Will they run from Eric?”
“In large numbers they will try and kill him.”
“Like hell they will!” I fired back, and felt my hands light up again as they had with Russell.
“Fae and Vampire are mortal and ancient enemies,” Godric told me in an authoritative tone. Ancient enemies, well at two thousand he would know.
“So how do we get the fuck out of here?”
“The same way you arrived,” Godric answered, sounding smug and confident, which was good, one of us should be. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I had already tried. “Believe in yourself, Sookie, and believe in the love that you have with my Child.” I looked at him, my eyes narrowing at his words. “I saw it in Dallas when you took his hand. You know what you feel, to deny it will make you weak when you most need strength. What is to come will be difficult. It is only together that you may endure if you believe.”
I nodded, not in agreement but to let him know that I had heard him. Eric was silent as I questioned his maker watching my face for clues on the side that he couldn’t hear. “Anything else?”
“Only that you were going to wind up here very soon either way. Your kin are interested in you and Bill’s visit has disturbed their quiet. For all that they are an enemy to vampires we are their enemy, too. Eric will be pressed by his nature to kill, and he must rise above that. Only you can help him with that.”
“Bond with him?”
“Bond what now?”
“Bond?” Eric repeated stepping closer to me, his eyes full of questions, Godric continued.
“A bond with you, will protect him from what the Fae might try to bring out the beast within him.” I opened my mouth to question that but he spoke again before I could. “It will protect you, too, Sookie. The Fae are masters of illusion and trickery. A bond will ground you in each other so that you can see the truth behind the lies. You need him, and he needs you. This need is why I asked you to care for him when I met the sun. You gave me your word that you would do that.”
“It never stops does it?” I whispered feeling overwhelmed at this latest twist of events.
“Not even in death,” he said, reframing my perspective. He was gone from this world but he was here to honor his tie to his Child. I would be the same I knew it. I took a deep breath and nodded at him again. He bowed his head to me gracefully and faded away. I turned to Eric who had been waiting more patiently than I ever could have.
“We have to bond.”
“No,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest in a classic Sookie move.
“Whaddya mean, ‘no’?” My own arms came up over my chest. I didn’t even know what it meant really but I felt very rejected and defensive at his refusal.
“No,” he said again, shaking his head this time for emphasis.
“Yes, I gathered as much but still no. I won’t bond with you because we have to.” I took a deep breath and let it out trying very hard to not morph into a screaming mega bitch no matter how much I wanted to.
“What does it mean to bond, Eric?” He dropped his arms stood tall before me, pride coming off him in waves.
“We would be one.”
“And you don’t want to be one with me?” I tried to hide it but it hurt and it came through in my voice.
“Not because we have to.” I caught the emphasis this time.
“But if we choose to?” He made that growly sound in his chest that always went right to the center of me, making me respond in a decidedly female fashion.
“If we both choose to bond, I would be honored to be one with you, Sookie Stackhouse.” I looked at him then, really looked at him. He was so essentially Eric that it made me swirl up inside. Anger, pain, laughter, love. Yes, love, I heard ghost Godric in my head again. You love him, and he loves you, that is why he wants you to choose him, not from necessity but from desire. Wouldn’t you want the same? I knew the answer to that already. I had always wanted to be chosen for what was inside the heart of me. He just told me that if I wanted him he wanted me to choose him. I needed him that was true, but I wanted him, too. Stackhouse pride would not help me here. I took a step toward him.
“You infuriate me, Eric Northman.” He nodded a jerk of his head and I saw him square his shoulders for what was coming next. Lord only knows what he was expecting. I opened my mouth and just let the words flow, feeling that effervescent sensation return to the heart of me.
“You also make my heart race. When you’re talkin’ dirty, when you are smirking at me, when you are saving me, when you are kissing me, when you’re just being you. There are so many things that you make me feel that I couldn’t list them all if we had a thousand years. I care for you, deeply, in some way that I don’t understand because I have never ever felt anything like it. Maybe you have before in your long life felt this?” I waited.
“This is new for me, too. It is as you say, infuriating and tantalizing and exhausting and complicated but at the heart it is good. It feels good, this thing between us, Sookie. You feel so unbelievably fucking good to me that I can’t find the words either, even with a thousand years.” I felt like he had kicked me in the chest. I took a step toward him. “If I could choose anyone to bond with it would be you, Sookie Stackhouse, but not because I have to, because I want to.”
“Godric said we needed the bond to ground us in each other, to protect you and me from what was coming next. We do need to bond, Eric, but he also said that it would only work the way we need it to because of the love that we have between us.”
“Is there love, Sookie?” I nodded, looking into his eyes.
“For me there is yes.”
“For me as well.”
“I couldn’t bear the thought of my world without you in it.” We were taking steps closer to each other as we spoke, pulled unconsciously like magnets. I still wanted to be in his arms and when they opened for me welcoming me home a weight was lifted off me. “How do we do this?” I asked looking up at him as I pressed myself closer to him.
“W-we have to drink from each other at the same time,” his tongue came out and licked his bottom lip as he thought of tasting me again. I mirrored his move.
“Promise me somethin’?”
“If I can.”
“You will tell me what you are doing from now on before you do it?”
“If you promise me the same?”
“Then I do, too, as long as I can and it doesn’t put you in danger. I hope in those times you can find it in your heart to trust me?”
“If you can trust me like that, too?”
“And we will talk as soon as we have a chance, about the thing with Russell and…everything.”
“As soon as we can.” His words opened me up like a confessional.
“Eric, I feel like I have had so much vampire blood over the past few days that there isn’t anything of me left anymore.” I whispered that, as I leaned in to his hand, seeking comfort.
“I believe my blood will help with that. I am older and stronger, it will balance and defeat the inferior blood that Bill has given you. It will make you mine, if that is what you want?” He looked so hopeful and so vulnerable that my heart ached for him. Who was this man and had he been in front of me the whole time teaching me that I knew nothing of poker faces?
“I want,” I said, feeling the words more than understanding them. “I want,” I said again as I pulled his head down to kiss him. “You,” I said to his lips before I claimed them. Just like that what I had felt before with him under me the burning need came back. It wasn’t the blood it was the man, he was killing me with his every move and word.
Eric had been killing me softly since the night I met him.
“Be mine,” I told him before I deepened our kiss. He groaned and pulled me tighter to him. He trailed kisses down my neck and then placed a kiss on my pulse point.
“Are you sure?” he asked me hesitating. That question and his caring about my choice removed any remaining doubt. I pushed his head down gently and turned my neck to him offering myself completely to him right there in that moment. He held me tighter and when his fangs sank in I moaned and held him tighter. He pulled back after a moment with my blood still on his teeth and tongue he bit his hand and offered it to me. I took and looked him in the eyes as I drank down his blood in greedy mouthfuls.
I felt him then, chasing Bill’s blood inside me and mastering it. He ran through me like electricity and claimed me totally. My eyes fluttered shut as he worked his magic. I felt something snap into place between us, something solid and warm that covered and sheltered me.
His groans of pleasure filled the air and I felt the bond grow stronger and more solid, like something I could wrap myself in and stay warm and safe. I felt the love and affection I had for him bloom inside me and his for me take up residence right beside it.
When I pulled back from him looking at his beautiful face, a mask of pleasure and happiness, I licked my lips and knew that for all the mistakes I had made this was not one. I had just joined with someone who cared for me in action if not always in word. I would do my best to show him the same honor and respect.