Banging On My Sanity
When we came out into the house above there were a half a dozen Z’s right outside the door waiting for us. When the door came open I kept moving at hyper speed dodging their reach and making for the nearest exit. I was so intent on keeping Sookie from their grasp that I misjudged and felt one of them rake my back with their claws hitting me with enough force to send me flying as he flayed my back. I turned to protect her from landing under my weight taking the brunt of the fall into the wooden side board of the dining room.
Pam picked that out, I thought as it splintered on impact, breaking my ribs and lodging several pieces of wood into my neck and back. One of them felt dangerously close to my heart. I saw Sookie shake her head and rise to stand between me and the Z’s that were still coming. Moving faster than I would have thought a human could she leaned down and took a mouthful of blood from my neck wound, turning as she swallowed her hands lighting up.
Blast after blast light she threw at them and even in my dazed pain I could register that she was doing some serious damage with her light bolts. They pulled back and stood as one staring at us again. Keeping her eyes on them she moved behind me and raised me up to see the worst the damage. I heard her take a breath and then she jerked the wood from my back. My ribs were healing but I had lost a lot of blood. She took another pull from my neck and then stuck her wrist in my mouth.
A thousand thoughts ran through my mind. None of them were appropriate to the moment. We were about to bond a second time. I had yet to explain the first one to her. I knew what she intended was healing. She had no idea what she was offering. I was in no position to refuse her. I was not sure I would have refused her even if we had all the time in the world to discuss this action.
I bit her without hesitation. I took enough to heal as fast as possible. I took a part of her into me, and as she pulled at my neck for the third time, succinctly refusing to let my blood loss be a waste I gave another part of myself to her.
It was the most gloriously terrible moment of my entire existence.
I was on my feet in seconds the sound of my ribs popping back into place whole made a sick disgusting sound as I took her back in my arms ready to move again. The horde was still standing still observing us as one. When they spoke as one actual gooseflesh broke out on my cool vampiric skin.
Fuck! I didn’t know that could even happen.
“SSSSSSSSOOOOOOKKKKKKIEEEEEEEE!” In the shock of it I hesitated. It was a mistake. The togetherness that had saved my life collapsed like a house of cards and she started screaming and fighting in my arms. Holding her tighter I moved again, bursting through the nearest widow and reaching for the sky like a lifeline. Below me I saw more coming, moving in en masse toward the house. A few more seconds and we could have been overrun. They cries of rage at being denied followed us into the night, barely perceivable over Sookie’s screams in my arms.
I shifted her so that she was pressed to me and wrapped my arms and legs around her as we flew. “Sookie, we are safe,” I whispered to her, running my hands up and down her back trying to calm her. I kept repeating it to her until eventually she did stop screaming but she was shaking so hard I feared she might fly to pieces.
After calming Sookie I raced to figure out where we might go. She must have felt my hesitation because she managed to say between chattering teeth from her shock that we needed to go east. My instinct had been to go west further from the sun and I stopped in mid-air to question her. I had ignored her before, dismissed her words as madness and that had been an error that nearly cost us our lives. Before I made that mistake again, I would try and listen.
“W-we h-have t-to go to a p-place called F-Four Point in Mississippi.” Four Point, I was familiar with that place. It was right over the border between Louisiana and Mississippi.
“K-Karin says that she will m-meet us there.”
“Who is Karin?”
“S-someone who can h-help fix t-this.” She buried her head in my chest then and refused to speak further. Was Karin real or was she a figment of Sookie’s tortured mind? There was no way to know other than to go to Four Points and see if she was there. I turned it over in my mind. ‘Karin’ had been right about our safe house not being safe. That was one in favor of trying. The bottom line though was that there really was nowhere else to go that would give us anything other than what we had just experienced.
Nodding, I kissed her head and reassured her. “Four Points it is then, my Sookie. Thank you for saving me back there.” She nodded.
“Welcome.” I had more questions. Did my blood make her stronger like it seemed to? Is that why she drank before facing the Z’s? How did she know it was have that effect? Did she feel me now in our twice bonding like I felt her? Cautiously I opened the bond. I could not risk getting sucked into her madness. She was a boiling pot of hot emotion up and down and all around and all over the place. I kissed her head again and whispered my love to her and I felt part of her settle into something like complacency.
“I know,” was all she said.
“Thank you, Han Solo,” I said without thinking. Once it left my lips I regretted teasing her, but she surprised me.
“Anytime, Princess,” she mumbled to my chest and I felt a tiny spark of amusement in our bond. I started flying east thinking of where we might stop for the night. She wasn’t going to like it but it was the best chance we had to stay safe and together. Our other option was that I go to ground for the day and leave her alone and unprotected. The Z’s needed to hide from the light but there were other things out here to worry about as well. Survivors and what they might do if they found her alone and vulnerable.
No, leaving her alone was an absolute last resort.
When we landed at Russell’s old mansion in Jackson an hour before sunrise she took one look and then buried her head in my chest again. I knew how she felt. I did a quick scan and surprisingly found that there were no Z’s in range of my senses. Still holding her I entered the house and moved through it at vampire speed. No one was here, but other than that it looked just as it did when last we were here.
Odd, I had expected it to be gutted, all of Russell’s great treasures removed, but perhaps there had been things higher on The Authority’s agenda, when there had been an Authority. The Sanguinista’s and Compton had ended that and since then the roller coaster had continued to run on I supposed.
Better things to do, more people to kill. Lilith to release. Was that what the Z’s were? Lilith’s vision made flesh? Was she still out there somewhere?
I secured the doors and barricaded us into what had been Russell’s study. Glancing around the room I noticed the remains of Talbot in the carpet and the hole I had punched into his treasure cabinet to take back my father’s crown. Was that the moment that all of this had spun so completely out of control?
My action of vengeance had provoked Russell into his barbaric act of revenge on national television. Had the humans been planning camps and anti-vampire weaponry before that moment or was that the planting of the seeds for this nightmare world?
So many questions, regrets and fears banging on my sanity that I could easily wind up in a ball beside Sookie rocking and drooling as I stared into distance seeing nothing but ghosts.
I needed answers. Knowledge would quiet my fears and reason with my terrors. She was sitting on the sofa in the dark when I lit the candles I had found in dining room. I sat beside her and took her hand in mine. So many questions. Where to begin?
Begin with what is most important, Godric whispered in my mind again. Right. What’s most important?
“Sookie, what happened when we escaped the safe house…” she turned toward me, her eyes still open. Her hand clenched mine. “You saved me with your light. How? Was it because you drank for me? Did my blood help?” She nodded her head still looking at me as she though any minute I was going to disappear on her. “How did you know?” She shrugged but clenched my hand tighter still. It would have hurt if I were human.
“I had some time to think about…things.” I waited, hung by her every word. “You said I was two Sookie’s?” I nodded now. “You liked fairy Sookie better, and I think that is because she is yours.” I raised an eyebrow not following. She sighed before going on.
“I was always a telepath, but I never shot light or nothin’ until I had your blood.” My other eyebrow went up. “After Dallas…I was coming out of my shell…my skin…my mind. After Dallas…I was fairy Sookie.” I wanted to tell her that I loved her human side and her fairy side. I loved all her sides but I held back hoping she would go on. She pulled back from it though, shrugging again, distancing herself from saying that she was mine again. I so desperately wanted to hear it. I licked my lips as though I could taste the words she kept from me, from herself.
“It was just a hunch that your blood would boost me. I had nothing to lose either way.” She dropped her head again.
“We shared blood like that before. Do you remember when we drank together, in the cubby?”
“Yes,” she whispered, still refusing to look at me. “You said ‘We will be one’,” she did a pretty decent imitation of my deep gravelly passion filled voice and I had to smile. I had not known that she had a natural gift for mimicry.
It’s the little things…
“We bonded then in the cubby and again tonight.” She nodded keeping her head down. “You know what this means?”
“We are connected. It’s why….why I could feel you even when you left me.”
“You are only supposed to feel me after we do it three times,” I said softly.
“Yes, because I have always done just what I was supposed to do when it came to you.” She amazed me, even now broken into pieces her sass and intelligence captivated me.
“So, can you feel more now after we have done it a second time?” She nodded again.
“I’m sorry, Eric. I should have asked but…I needed to save you…and…and I needed to be sure, really, really sure that you were really, really here. I just had to know. It was wrong I know, ‘cause who would wanna be tied to a nutcase? Right? Right. But I had to do something and- “I cut off her babbling with a kiss to reassure her that there was no regret in me for our second bonding. I pulled back and rested my forehead on hers with my eyes closed for change.
“Thank you,” I said again. It covered all the wondrous things she had done this night and all the others since she had moved into my heart. I opened my mouth to ask about Karin but this time it was her kiss that silenced me. When she pulled back she asked her question instead.
“You are ok, right? I mean they didn’t bite you did they?”
“No,” I reassured her softly.
“Lemme see,” she said standing to move behind me and pull up the remains of my shirt. She pulled it over my head and ran her hand over my once again flawless skin. Her touch was amazing. It tingled. I noticed the room was brighter and turned to see her hand on me alight with her amazing power. Everywhere she touched was a like a small electrical charge. I had felt that before when she zapped me to stop me from killing Bill and returned my memories to me.
Was that where it all went wrong? If she had left me an innocent would this have all turned out differently? My body overrode my mind responding to her touch. I wanted her, but she was not well enough to make this kind of decision. I could not risk damaging her further by letting this go where I so very badly wanted it to go.
I could feel the bond pulling at me, wanting to be complete. The circle so close to being closed was the sweetest of hell. I reached out with my mind and opened the connection to her and found that I could feel the same desire in her. Did she truly want that or was it just my blood calling to me from inside her body? Was the blood working its will on us both? Did it matter?
I heard the zipper on the top of her track suit come down and my body responded. If I turned around and saw her there the choice would be made. I remained frozen when I felt her press her naked breasts to my broad back, the tingle telling me that now her whole body was alight. It made my body tingle and my cock throb with need. It hurt and I needed to adjust myself but I still refused to let my body move. She kissed my neck making me tingle more where her lips touched me softly. “Will you finish the bond with me? Do you want that, Eric?” More than anything. Ever.
“If that is what you want,” I said still not moving. “What do you want, my Sookie?” My hands clenched fearing that this would stop now, or that I would wake and find this was a dream as she had been telling me since I found her in Bon Temps.
“Everything,” she whispered in my ear. I turned and pulled her into my arms before she finished quoting me again, mimicking my tone sounding so deep and sexy as I had when I had said it to her. I looked into her eyes, seeking reassurance, but she closed them and kissed me. I was powerless in the face of her as I had always been.
My kryptonite. My bane. My poison. My pleasure. My fairy. “My Sookie,” I whispered before I took charge of the kiss and pulled her into my lap.
“My Eric,” she answered as her arms came around my neck and she pressed closer to me. There was no time for this. There was no time for anything but this. So many questions. So many kisses. So much danger. So much passion. So much uncertainty. So much certainty. This was the only thing that mattered.
“I am yours,” I told her as I kissed her neck making her tremble in my arms. “Make it true,” I begged her shameless in this stolen moment of undeniable need. Her legs still covered in her track suit wrapped around my hips squeezing me as she rubbed her body against my hard cock. She locked herself around me and nothing had ever felt so good as that moment in her arms. She kissed my neck, and then she licked me just before she bit down with her blunt teeth breaking my skin and making me bleed for her.
My fangs sank into her a moment later and through my closed eyes I saw the room get brighter and she took more of me into her. My hands came to her hips pulling her hard against as my hips rocked up into her over and over again as we feasted on each other. She came in my arms moaning just as my neck healed and I followed right behind her exploding beneath her writhing hips. She pulled deep moans of pleasure from my body as I licked her neck clean and pricked my tongue to heal her wounds.
She was glowing like the sun now and I held her tighter not caring if it meant the end of me. I felt our new bond open up between us rushing like a swollen river. I tasted her madness, her loneliness and her love. Her love for me. The current swept me away. I let it. Images and thoughts came rushing at me.
Z’s killing Bill, Jason, Alcide, Tara. So much blood but when they faced her they had backed away. I felt her anguish and her pain as she screamed at them, raged that they left her when they had taken all else.
I saw a woman, no a fairy….no! A vampire fairy with red hair. “You must come to Four Points, Sookie! Bring Eric. There is still time to stop this! If we-“
“NO!” Sookie roared leaping from my arms, madness rampant in her eyes again as the bond slammed shut catching part of my soul in its hinges. The psychic pain made me scream, too. I grabbed my head and kept screaming at the blunt severing of our fully open bond. “NO! NO! NO!” Sookie kept screaming over and over, her arms wrapped tightly around her, her body bent over as tears poured down her face.
I wanted to go to her but I was not able to move. Blackness came in on me, my perfect vampire vision narrowing to a small circle. Just before it closed and I blacked out I heard Karin again.
There is still time…