*SPOILERS* For those not familiar with the books, when Eric revealed that he did not come to save her when she was taken by the fairies because Victor Madden silvered him and held him prisoner, Sookie pronounces Victor’s death sentence. Her vicious response was a surprise even to Eric, because it demonstrated a level of commitment to the supernatural life that she had held back from until that point.
He, Sookie and Pam plot to bring Victor and his entourage into Fangtasia for a one time only concert by Bubba, also known as Elvis, yes the real Elvis. Their plan at the height of the concert was to take them all by surprise and kill them, hiding the evidence of Victor’s demise and lying to the vampire King De Castro. *This was not only Sookie’s idea, but her plan right from the start*
Once the deed was accomplished, she punked out, crying about the murder of these vampires and her role in it, but mostly her disgust about Eric’s joy in his actions. She didn’t seem capable of understanding why he would revel in killing someone who was not only draining him financially but also had prevented him from saving his blood bonded wife from hours of physical torture that left her body scarred despite copious amounts of his ancient healing blood.
By this point Sookie has broken her bond to Eric and has discovered that her telepathy comes not from the Fae but from the demon blood that Cataliades had fed her grandparents melding his DNA into their offspring. *I think this denotes a level of intimacy that should have read like more than a tea party but we may come to that later in another story* She also knows about the Cluviel Dor and Eric’s pending marriage and yet still can’t quite figure out what in the world to use a magic wish for…*eye roll*
I hated that. I like this better…
I made the best decision I could make at any given time based on the information I had.
As far as shields go, even I knew that was pathetic, but still I clung to it when I got down deep in my thoughts and regrets about the path that led to this night. This had been my idea, why was I lacking the faith of my convictions as I watched my plan come together flawlessly? Eric was so fucking proud of me that I didn’t even need a bond with him to feel it.
Good thing, my nasty bitchy voice whispered in my head, ‘cause you threw that away like it was nothing!
I tried, again, to argue that I made the best decision I could make because I needed to know that I loved him. That I loved him, not the bond but the echoes of my own cowardice deafened me to my paltry reasons. The hurt in his eyes when he came to me would be with me until the day I died.
Until the fucking day I died.
Which could be today. Either way, it would be sooner than Eric and so I couldn’t even feel justly punished because he would still be bleeding in his soul for our bond when I was returned to dust. For that I was sorrier than any words could convey and I was glad at least that he couldn’t feel that. He still loved me, no matter what damn fool thing I did and it made the hole inside me bigger, sucking at my soul.
Of course he can feel that, idiot! He has his own hole where you used to live inside him!
Pam came out and signaled that Bubba was here and ready to work his black velvet magic that would allow us to end this thing with Madden once and for all. Good, my voice chimed in again, when you are killing them, find a mirror you fucking coward and look at your true face. See if you can stand what you see when your last excuse is stripped away!
I turned from that voice and surveyed Fangtasia. The vampire Disneyland had been turned into a quiet supper club where one of the greatest performers of all time would take the stage. I smiled at my wit, I didn’t mean Bubba. I meant myself. I was such a fucking liar, but at least I knew I came by it honest.
Oh, Gran, you fucking hypocrite! A lady does this and lady does not do that! You can’t accept gifts like that people will think you are a kept woman!
Yeah, but if I had let my husband, my fucking HUSBAND love and care for me as he wanted to do I still wouldn’t have been the fucking colossal liar and cheat you managed to be, now would I? Oh, how it galled me, fucking around on her husband and drinking demon blood like it was high noon tea! I wonder if she yelled out “My stars!” when her fairy and demon lovers fucked her into oblivion?
You cheated me out of so much, Gran, and I will never, ever be able to forgive you for that! And your letter, your apology to me, your gift. Yyou had no problem with gifts, did you? If just once I could have shut your lying voice up in my brain how different would my life be? How much better? You raised me when I had no one and I owe you for that, but only so much because you also hobbled me in the righteousness that even you couldn’t live up to.
I looked at Eric across the room as he handled some last minute details before Madden arrived. He offered me the world and I reduced him to the size of Bon Temps because you told me that is what a lady should do. What in the holy crying fuck did you ever know about being a goddamned lady, Adele Fucking Stackhouse?
I rose, clenching and opening my fists as I paced trying to reign myself back under control. I was due this emotional release, but now was not the best time.
Would they even have taken you, cut you, burned you if she had kept her legs together and not fucked a fairy?
No, my rational mind rallied against my rage, but that is because I would not have been here at all. Her husband could not give her children. I took a deep breath and swung my arms out and back and forth trying to loosen my tension and find some place to perch inside my own head that these stones couldn’t reach me. My fucked up psyche could throw them like a fucking professional pitcher, bruising me, making me bleed in psychic ways that no vampire blood could heal.
Oh, you are her granddaughter aren’t you? You spurn him when he calls you wife, you mock his love and devotion but let him tap a vein and you cling to him still unyielding as you drink. How can you hate her and not hate yourself?
“I do!” I screamed to myself, bending over to keep from falling over as the blood left my head. I do hate myself, I finished internally, but it was too late. Eric was already there, demanding to know what was wrong and how he might help. He was always like that. I was always a fucking fool.
I stood and placed my hand on his solid arm to steady me, looking up into his eyes, mine more wide open than perhaps ever before. “How do you do it?” I asked him. His brow furrowed and I felt him reach for me in the ghost limb of our severed bond. I nearly cried out at the phantom pain I felt in the heart of me.
“Do what, Sookie?”
“Always care? Always reach out to me. Help me. Save me. Love me. How do you find the strength to always do it?” He shook his head slightly not understanding me. “I treat you so selfishly all the fucking time. Still you never hesitate. You shame me with your faith in me.”
Shadows passed his face, and I could still sense that his regret at my abduction and his failure to rescue me. We had cried it out. We had fucked it out. Tonight we would murder it out. Would this third and final time pay for all and set him free from his own pain regarding that night? He didn’t speak, but that was all right. I knew that he could not tell me what was in his heart, not in a room full of minions who saw only the warrior Sheriff and not the man that I had been privileged to glimpse in nights of love drenched in moonlight.
If I had been less my grandmother’s fake mini-me and more myself I would still be able to feel him and know beyond a doubt what I could now only suspect and hope.
“They are here,” Pam said from beside the door ending our moment. He looked at me sharply and I nodded to reassure him. I could keep it together until this was done. I could do that for him at least.
Madden came in scenting the air like wild animal looking for a trap. I smiled my best southern hostess smile, swallowed my bile and took his arm to lead him to the best seat in the house. I made small talk until Bubba came out and then I watched and I waited.
Four or five songs into the set Madden literally placed his hand over his undead heart and sighed like a teenaged girl. Any minute now I was expecting him to toss his panties at Bubba and stand up and jumping and screaming as he held his face in ecstasy. It was time to make our move.
I leaned over to Victor like I was going to whisper something to him about the performance. He leaned over, eyes still fixated on Bubba. All the better, I thought as I slipped the silver dagger from my garter belt and shoved deeply into his throat right under his chin. “That’s for Eric!” I whispered fiercely as I twisted the blade and sawed it back and forth to inflict as much damage as possible.
From the corner of my eye I saw Eric rise from the back like Death himself, moving swiftly and silently as he beheaded Victor’s crew. Pam wrapped one’s neck in silver, her delicate elbow lady gloves protecting her skin as she popped his head off, mouth open fangs down to catch the spray. She looked like the goddess Shiva with murder and sex in her eyes.
Victor was clawing at me now, tearing my arms open as I held on and pressed the blade deeper. I punished him for my mistakes and my regrets. His eyes found mine and I saw terror there. “How long has it been since you were afraid Victor Madden?” I was smiling when I asked him and even through his pain he blinked at what would surely be my deranged face as I peered at him, covered in the jets of his blood.
Eric came then, and jerked Victor from my arms starting what I had finished, first impaling him on his sword, raising him up with one arm to the ceiling. “For my wife,” he ground out through his extended fangs. Then in a movement so fast I could barely follow it he removed the sword, letting Victor fall and beheaded him before his feet could even touch the ground.
His enemy defeated a Viking battle cry escaped his chest so loud my ears were ringing when he finally stopped. Quickly, he looked around the room and finding that everyone of Victor’s entourage had been dispatched and that we had suffered no casualties he turned to me.
Unbelievably, I was still sitting where I had been when this started, my arms bleeding, unable to move as adrenaline coursed through me, making me shaky and weak as shock set in right behind it. We had won! I almost hadn’t planned for that at all. When I my eyes met Eric’s I raised my bleeding arms to him, welcoming him home.
The moment he touched me I was lost. “I’m sorry!” I sobbed into his chest. He was too excited to calm me, too battle crazed to be anything other than what he was at the core. A conqueror. He carried me away like the spoils of battle, away from the carnage and into his office. I think Bill was in there, until he took one look at Eric and me in his arms and then he left. That was the only part that mattered.
There was no gentle loving husband in this room. There was no sorrowful reckless wife. There was a man who had fought and triumphed and the woman who welcomed him home from battle. I was soaking wet in anticipation of what I had seen in his eyes, and naked a moment later when he thrust into me making me scream his name, making himself my new religion.
My bloody arms went around his neck as he pounded into me, marking his face, marking him as mine with my sacrifice. The last time he had asked, and I had grudgingly accepted, this time I didn’t offer him the courtesy, no was not an option.
I tore into his neck, gulping him, not to heal my arms but to heal my soul. I sucked his wound in time with his thrusts and broke suction long enough to order him, “Drink!” Snarling he tore into my neck and fucked me harder as we recreated our bond again.
I let go when his neck healed and held onto him as he hitched me up around his hips and increased his speed to vampiric levels, still drinking me. “I love you, husband,” I said in his ear as I came around him inside me. Again his Viking war cry filled the air as he filled me with his offering, still fucking me right through his orgasm and pressing on.
We fell back on the couch, me riding his lap as he pulled me up and down, biting my breast to taste me again. I tore into his neck again and with each drink I felt more than I had before of him. Finally, he shuddered beneath me, like a horse ridden to exhaustion and pulled me down to his chest as he smelled my hair and licked Victor’s blood from my face.
“You are my husband!” I said panting into his face as he licked me. He made a growly noise of assent to my statement.
“I will not share you!” Again, he made that growling noise that was going right to my core, making me want him again while he did that in my ear. Feeling me clench around him still inside me he started moving slowly, stroking me deeply and bringing me to orgasm again in moments. Keeping me there he folded me in his arms tight against his chest.
“I have missed you,” he said to my hair. I promised myself right then that he would never ever say those horrible words to me again. He would never miss me again. Ever.
There was much to tell him about Gran and Desmond and me being a part demon, and then last but not least there was the love gift that I had inherited. A magical wish that I would offer to my husband as recompense for the slights my Gran had unknowingly done to us.